Five Most Epic Creationist Fails

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Carl Baugh. This “Creation Scientist” (a term found in the oxymoron dictionary between “American culture” and “Microsoft Works”) is so spectacularly full of bull that even other Creationists have tried to distance themselves. Seriously, even Answers in Genesis wants nothing to do with him.

So you may feel I’m attacking a straw man. And, well, if I were, it would still be a fun straw man to attack.

Actually, there are a couple of serious reasons to discuss Baugh. For one, he was brought to wider fame by my childhood hero Kenneth Copeland. I watched the two week TV series they made together as a child in the mid-90s, and I believed every word of it. VHS copies are still out there. I think I saw it still for sale on Copeland’s website earlier this year, but it’s not there now.

The other reason this is relevant is that it seems Carl Baugh had some influence on the Creationism taught in Accelerated Christian Education. Admittedly, I never saw the most barking of these claims in my PACEs, but Baugh was mentioned by name. Several of the claims that he makes which are denied by other Creationists show up in the PACEs. It’s not surprising; Baugh’s Creation Evidences Museum is just 69 miles from ACE’s Texas HQ. Both Baugh and ACE are at the loonier end of the already unhinged Creationist spectrum. They are the only Creationist groups I know of who still support the Paluxy tracks idea, for example.

So, here are some outstanding claims Baugh makes in his Evidences for Creation series, with Kenneth Copeland. 

5. Rocks Can Talk

“And he answered and said unto them, I tell you that, if these should hold their peace, the stones would immediately cry out.”

Luke 19:40

If you’re someone who claims the Bible is literally true, even allegorical verses like this take on supreme importance. Here’s Baugh’s attempt to prove that Jesus was not using a metaphor:

“Jesus said these rocks would cry out. Now, they do. Do you know that every time you speak in the presence of a rock, the vibrations of your voice cause a molecular shift on the surface so that rock actually records what you’ve said?”

4. The Sky Is Pink

Sometimes when people say parents have the right to teach children according to their own beliefs, I say, “Well, what if they think the sky is pink?” I am not being satirical. Baugh literally claims that, when God made the Earth, the sky was pink. It stayed pink until Noah’s flood, when it turned blue.

Baugh claims that the pre-Flood Earth was surrounded by a hydrogen canopy, and this provided a pink tint to the sky. Baugh maintains hydrogen, when put under “cryogenic conditions”, pressurised, and with “added energy”, bonded into a crystalline lattice, a crystalline metal, transparent apart from a fine grains of opaque superconductors.

“That canopy above the Earth, and charged hydrogen in that canopy, would glow pink. Thus we have a gentle, pinkish glow, but it permits the full spectrum of light to come in.”

Dinos on the Ark

Creationist artist’s impression of the pre-Flood Earth, with pink sky. Wonderfully, it is entitled “Dinos on the Ark.”

3. Stars and Planets Make Audible Music

“…the morning stars sang together…” Job 38:7

Again, the Bible is the literal truth of God! So, obviously, the stars sing. Baugh’s explanation of this is long-winded, to say the least. Here are the crucial bits:

“The cellular structure of our bodies responds to galactic vibrations, not as Astrologers would indicate, but for the benefit of man so he’s free to make a decision to respond to God… The stars are now in chaos, but the stars originally, all the star bodies were programmed… so that man, in the antenna of the DNA in each cell of his body could respond to harmony

“Originally there were ten planets, not nine, in this solar system… The planets have a proportional mean by which one expands in its orbit beyond the preceding one, that same proportion extends to the next one, giving us the musical scale. What this actually does, as they vibrate in their orbits, in their cycle, together they give us the musical scale, so that innately times and seasons are programmed and felt.

“Now notice that all of the scale, E flat, E, B, D, B, G, uh, C sharp, E flat, F… all of the scale is represented except the musical note A… A is missing. A would have been represented by that planet which is called Phaeton by the astronomers. It is a phantom planet. It is not in existence today, but where it should have been is the asteroid belt, and there’s a lot of debris filling all of this. So originally in the design, that was represented, so you had a perfect musical harmony sensed and felt.

“In Job 38:7 the Scripture states that the morning stars sang together. They are singing. The physicist from Italy recording the stellar vibrations in radio signals… Those were picked up, and she actually found that there’s a harmony and melody flow in the music she was able to synthesise from those vibrations. However what we’re picking up today has been distorted [by sin]…

“Before the time of Noah’s flood, when we had that firmament in place, remember I stated it was crystalline in nature, had an electromagnetic field. I’m sure as a young lad you built radio crystal receiver sets… A crystal, an electromagnetic field, and an antenna… That’s all it takes to pick up the local radio station. Here we have essentially the same context… When the Scriptures says the stars sang together, for years I said that’s figurative, allegorical passage meaning God blended the harmony of the universe… Before the flood, you actually had a receiver set so at least innately, and probably to some degree audibly, you could hear the beautiful harmony early in the morning because the energy line was charged at a greater level… For probably an hour early in the morning, you were serenaded audibly, and certainly innately, by the vibrations of the stars.

Too Long Didn’t ReadBaugh claims that the afore-mentioned hydrogen canopy on the earth acted as a crystal radio receiver to pick up musical signals sent by the stars.

No, I have no idea how Baugh can claim the entire musical scale would have been represented by ten planets (8 + Pluto and Phaeton), when there are 12 notes in the chromatic scale (which is a human construct anyway).

2. Fire Breathing Dragons Are Real

The Book of Job, chapter 41, has a strong claim to being the coolest passage in the Bible. It describes Leviathan, a sea monster which can breathe fire:

“Out of his mouth go burning lamps, and sparks of fire leap out. Out of his nostrils goeth smoke, as out of a seething pot or caldron. His breath kindleth coals, and a flame goeth out of his mouth.”

Of course, the Biblical infallibilist Baugh maintains that every letter of Scripture is absolute Word of God, so he needs to explain how a fire breathing dragon came about (he oddly decided not to tackle Unicorns, however).

First of all, Baugh discusses the bombardier beetle as evidence of living creatures creating fire. While he’s about it, he claims that this is an example of irreducible complexity.

Next he pulls out a fossil from China which he claims is proof of a monster that could breathe fire, giving credence to the old Chinese legend. I haven’t been able to find this fossil by googling, but what he says sounds like “Unaneesis.”

Then we get this explanation of how breathing fire is absolutely plausible for the creature described in Job, as all the conditions for controlled fire are present:

“You’ll find that Job speaks in three verses of seals, indicating airtight chambers (controlled humidity). Then it speaks of the fact that when he wheezes, his eyes begin to glow (indicators of friction and electricity). Oxygen – he breathes fire in the atmosphere. When he churned the sea, it smelled like ointment. Early ointment was sulfur-based. All that’s needed is phosphorous. The Bible describes the water glowing at night. So he could breathe fire.”

Too Long Didn’t Read: Carl Baugh says that dragons exist because of a fossil and the Bible.

1. T-Rex was a Vegetarian

If you believe that all animals were made in a literal week of Creation, and that there was no death before Adam’s Fall, you have to believe that every creature in history was a vegetarian to begin with. So never mind that a carnivore’s digestive tract is too short to process cellulose, or that their teeth aren’t adapted to chewing vegetation. Sabre tooth cats, modern bears, T-Rex, badgers, hedgehogs, and humans – they all co-existed in the garden of Eden, and they all ate vegetables and Linda McCartney sausages.

So then…

Well, adults can believe what they want. But foisting this stuff onto children is not on. Of these claims, only number 1 is taught directly by ACE (in Science 1108), but they also push the canopy theory of pre-Flood earth. As TalkOrigins helpfully points out, this means “we find Noah et al living in a 13,000 psi boiler. Is this credible?”

Accelerated Christian Education’s final biology workbook (Science 1108), says, “Dr. Carl Baugh [is] a noted Creation scientist.” It goes on to talk approvingly about his work.

I’m going to have to say it again: This is in a curriculum that a UK government agency has approved.

Related Posts:

“Some researchers have concluded that due to the pre-Flood atmospheric conditions which had greater amounts of oxygen, man could have run up to two hundred miles without suffering fatigue. It has been discovered in hyperbaric medical chamber experiments that under these circumstances, an open wound would heal overnight. It is therefore understandable how man could have lived to be several hundred years old, even after the fall, in this pre-Flood world, Heavier air pressure and more oxygen in the atmosphere were conducive to longer life.”

About jonnyscaramanga

I grew up as a Christian fundamentalist in the UK. Now I am writing a book and blog about what that's like, and what fundamentalists believe.

Posted on July 25, 2012, in Accelerated Christian Education, Christianity, Creationism, Education, Fundamentalism, Word of Faith and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 36 Comments.

  1. You seriously need an ‘all of the above’ button on that poll.

    And here’s another thing I get annoyed at Biblical über-literalists for. By taking obviously poetic language at its childishly literal meaning, they imply that our ancestors had no sense of poetry or metaphor. I’ve never seen them discuss just when, during the 6,000-year history of human discourse, the idea of non-literal meanings arose. Presumably we can narrow it down to the period since the canonical Bible was decided upon.

    • I deliberately didn’t want an “all of the above” choice, because I want to get a feel for which one people find funniest. I’m planning to present these points (plus a few more) in a talk, and I want to do them in ascending order of hilarity.

      I once read in a Christian magazine an author claiming “I have no doubt that, as the Son of God, Jesus was incapable of speaking anything other than truth in its purest form.” He then argued that the parables were all literally true as well as having poetic interpretations. This was just his opinion, not the editorial line.

  2. Strangely, the rock one sounds familiar to some claims I’ve heard ghost hunters make. Some believe that stones can record the “vibrations” of ghosts, leaving behind an imprint or message of sorts.

  3. Ah, I remember Microsoft Works. Those were the days. So much clip-art fun.

  4. you really have a passion for unearthing error in the ACE world view and I appreciate that you don’t attack faith in God in the process. I had not heard of Baugh before but his notion of a crystalline structure and rocks recording vibrations most likely comes from Rupert Sheldrake. I came across mention of Sheldrake from literal ‘pagan/wiccan’ sources. So that is interesting if they are using the same source for thier views.

    • Thanks. That’s very interesting. Sheldrake isn’t mentioned on the video I’ve seen, but it’s possible. Baugh doesn’t cite his sources very thoroughly, at least in this video, so I don’t know how you’d check.

    • It wouldn’t surprise me if this was the source, of if they both shared a common source. There’s a turnover of fringe beliefs in evangelical churches from new age/pagan/mental as people from those backgrounds come in and then rise up through the hierarchy. It’s entertaining watching things like left/right-brain thinking go from being the works of satan to core tenets of biblical thinking as they get absorbed and re-worked along with new people.

      • I agree. I am a massage therapist by trade and I am working on an under graduate in interdisciplinary studies. I think there is alot of cross over but its not an area that I chose to focus on in school but perhaps I should have done a psychology minor now that I think about it. In the massage community there are some fringe beliefs about various alternative healing modalities and pin pointing the source is difficult if you dont come right out and ask. There is still homophobia for example and a belief that it is a choice and not biology. I struggle with this myself, but I am aware that medical doctors are in agreement that it is genetic.

  5. I bet T. rex was a giant bat and instead of tiny little arms, he had large wings.

  6. Having long been a fan of Anne McCaffery’s Pern books I think that it would be supremely cool if dragons actually existed. Unfortunately I can’t quite find the evidence to make my wish stand up. Need more faith, name it and claim it.

    • Wishful thinking definitely played a part for me. I too really wanted to believe in fire-breathing dragons. Even my Christian friends displayed some scepticism on this, but it was too cool, and THIS WAS SCIENCE!!!!!!!1111!!!!
      Good to see you again by the way, John.

  7. I reckon singing stars is the worst. As implausible as the others sound, who’s to say definitively that t-rex wasn’t a vegetarian, or that the sky wasn’t pink – even with evidence to the contrary? I’m all for dragons and talking rocks, but sound travelling in a vacuum is just *ridiculous*.

    • There-again, one of Kepler’s hypotheses concerning the orbits of the planets was based on musical harmonies. The ‘music of the spheres’ idea seems to—ahem—resonate somewhat through much early-modern astronomy.

      At a tangent, but interesting; J.A.R. Newlands in the 1860s came up with a ‘law of octaves’ showing relationships between elements. He illustrated it at lectures using a piano, which got him scoffed at, so he gave up on it—which is a damn shame, ’cause he’d have stood a chance of beating Mendeleyev to the periodic law by several years, if he’d kept working at it.


    • But Sarah, Baugh claims that the hydrogen canopy picked the sound up as radio waves, which would be EM radiation, right? I’m starting to worry about you. It seems you just don’t have enough faith.

  8. Definitely Trex being a vegetarian is the most wacky

  9. Just thinking… if the sky was made of hydrogen, and there were fire breathing dragons… anyone else see where I’m going with this?

  10. I still cannot really understand how the stars can sing… As far as the vegeterian T-Rex, appart from the fact that carnivores have shorter intestins, there is the problem that Reptiles (including birds) are not capable of chewing. It is only the Mammals who move their jaws vertically and horizontally. Some dinosaurs developped other characters in order to be able to only eat vegetables, but to say that any Tyranosaurus was a vegeterian is completely absurd.

  11. I had to go for the dragons – as another Anne McCaffrey fan the whole really tickled me. But didn’t burn, fortunately!

    Apparently the sky being pink thing is to do with the fundamentalist belief that it never rained until the flood – because at creation the waters were separated, you see? Some on earth and some in the sky… but that doesn’t explain why it rained at the flood, and not at the time of the fall. Though I’m not really sure I care enough to find out the explanation for that one!

    • I can explain that, Sarah. I would have explained in the article, but it was already getting a bit lengthy. Carl thinks that, at the time of the flood, earthquakes under water created explosions with the force of a nuclear bomb. This brought the sea into contact with magma, which created massive jets of steam, shooting into the atmosphere. These jets blasted through the canopy, and then the whole lot fell as rain.

      I presume Baugh is aware that nuclear tests have been done underwater, and underwater volcanoes do exist, and no jets of steam have been sent blasting through the atmosphere.

      • It sounds a little bit like a hollywood production…

      • Thanks for the explanation Jonny. Still wiping away tears of laughter. He could do with some sanity raining on him, never mind volcanically-blasted water.

        I was more thinking about the theological rather than physical explanation, though – the act of the fall being far more intrinsically violent than that of the events leading up to the flood would be much more likely to cause the waters to be released. It feels like in places he’s leaving theology behind and concentrating more on physical explanations for his irrationality. (In places? What am I saying??).

      • Actually, this was covered in the video too! (They’re quite thorough in their manufacture of drivel, to be fair.)

        They claimed that the Fall would have resulted in this immediately, but God, in His infinite mercy, held back the explosions and floodwaters until such time as He 1) found a righteous man (Noah), and 2) had allowed time for Noah to build a large boat.

        There you go.

  12. Oh my goodness. I think that’s what you call adding to the biblical narrative on the basis of no evidence whatsoever. So much for biblical inerrancy! You have to laugh or you’d cry…

  13. “T-Rex is a Veggie” – this kinda deserves its own cartoon! But what if I WANT dragons to exist? Which I guess would mean that I’ll need a time machine to take me to another dimension or alternate timeline where the sky is pink and the clouds are make of cotton candy, with shiny sugar angels strumming gold wrapped chocolate harps that make the stars sing, while the rocks murmur quietly … yeah, I want what they’re smoking. I don’t remember this so much (obviously too tame for my vivid imagination) but I do remember all the delicious hell fire and brimstone torture porn.

    Though I must have got the whole ‘young earth’ story from somewhere, because I do remember at around 10 or so telling my grandfather all about this biblical geology book I was reading. I distinctly remember him chuckling and saying something like, “Well, you don’t want to believe everything you read.” I remember being horrified and amazed at the possibility that a ‘factual’ book might be wrong. So, I guess that is a moment I should be grateful for, as it pretty much sums up my position now.

  14. When helping out at my kid’s school, I came across a science pace that said that before the flood the earth had a shell of ice that completely enclosed it, and that this shell compressed the atmosphere so it was about 30PSI at sea level. Thus people lived longer and animals were bigger, and people were bigger, too, which is why the Paluxy human footprints are like 19 inches long.

    I should point out very emphatically that this is *NOT* what ACE taught when I went through the system 30 years ago. This is new. Comparatively new, anyway.

    My (Autistic) kid, who knows better than this anyway, immediately started joking with me about how earth “Originally had a delicious candy shell!”

    Leaving aside the obvious orbital and physical mechanical problems something like that would cause, the Bible itself proves it’s wrong! The Bible says God created the stars for signs and for seasons. If there was a delicious candy coating ensconsing the earth, you wouldn’t be able to see the stars.

  15. You guys are IDIOTS!! You are making fun of something you can’t wrap your teeny feeble minds around. Please do me a favor and SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!

  1. Pingback: What Do Creationists Teach? A guest post by Jonny Scaramanga | Jesus Without Baggage

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