Prepare to believe at the Creation Museum

This is a guest post from Andrew Hall at Laughing in Purgatory.
Prepare to believe

Petersburg, Kentucky The Creation Museum is unveiling its newest exhibit, Pokémon: Fact or Fiction. Christ-centered scientists have been working tirelessly to bring to life the real story of these miraculous creatures.

Dr. Ash Ketchum

“It’s been an uphill battle, that’s for sure,” stated Dr Ketchum. “People typically scoff when they hear about our work here. What I find interesting is that most people believed in Pokémon when they were younger and somehow lost their faith. My job is to remind them of one of God’s most incredible creations.” 

A behind the scenes tour reveals how evolutionists are baffled at the factual evidence provided by cards that have the vital information of each and every Poké-creature. This quote from famed atheist and evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins adorns the Great Gym: It’s clear to any intelligent person that Pokémon are not the result of any natural process.

The Bible clearly states that the great beasts that can be domesticated and placed in pokéballs were created on the fifth day. And God said, “Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky.” So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living thing with which the water teems and that moves about in it, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. Genesis 1: 20- 21 The original Hebrew word for great was tannin, which includes dinosaurs/dragons as well as Pikachus, Jiggypuffs, and the rest of their brethren.

“I’m proud of our work here,” continued Dr Ketchum. “The next stage of our project is to reach out to school boards all across America. Children need to know all the competing biological theories. I’m also hopeful that our God-Guided Pokémon Evolution Youtube video will open many young minds.”

PokemonMany thanks to Andrew for this post. You can check out his website, which is sort of like The Onion for people who are pissed off by religion. Follow Andrew on Twitter (and me while you’re about it), and check out my post for Laughing in Purgatory, Creationism Rocks!

About jonnyscaramanga

I grew up as a Christian fundamentalist in the UK. Now I am writing a book and blog about what that's like, and what fundamentalists believe.

Posted on June 21, 2013, in Atheism, Creationism and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. If this wasn’t obviously a parody, I’d be doing a very realistic imitation of Kyle Broflovski’s mom right now.

  2. Fire breathing dragons? Come on. Talking snakes & donkeys & flying horses, yes ! lol

  3. LOL, its something that you could expect at the creationism museum. actually its the only thing as it clearly was created.

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